Relationships require what is inspiring, life enhancing and that which promotes Soul Growth for all in the relationship.
People were not put on this earth to "meet our needs".
They are here to share their life with us and in loving and caring we do assist each other and meet each others needs as a form of love.
However this "meeting the others needs" is not to be a main focus. We are to learn in knowing ourselves how to meet our own needs and open to the Universe to send the people and situations that will meet our needs.
Our needs are not to be always met by our immediate/family of origin, extended family, friends or colleagues….
If our needs were always met by those closest to us we would never venture out… This also puts undue and unfair pressure on those closest to us.
If you are finding your needs, wants and intentions are different than those around you this is a cue from your Higher Self that you are suppose to, and need to branch out.
You need to branch out to meet new people and new circumstances. This is one of the ways your Soul grows.
When we truly love another person we not only are willing, but it brings us a deep joy, to see people go their own way and "do their own thing" even if we are not involved.
Space gives us the room to come back to each other and share what we have experienced separately and individually.
I have heard this particular sentiment from a few sources, including a teacher of mine: " Relationships are not meant to function smoothly or be easy." I actually disagree. I think they run in their own flow. It is more likely that we don't understand or like the flow. It also is very often that the "flow" they are operating in is bringing up our stuff, or not meeting our expectations and therefore we have disappointment and/or heartache -heartbreak.
Flow can be seen interpreted as; go with the flow to mean be relaxed and accept a situation, rather than trying to alter or control it.
Flow can also be described as in full flow talking fluently and easily and showing no sign of stopping. • performing vigorously and enthusiastically
All of life is in a flow or various flows...
In fact our own relationship with ourselves operates via flow. Sometimes we have more grace and ease and other times we have experience an inner tug of war that would beat any outer tug of war. We can be at war with ourselves, as well as with other people or outer circumstances.
Many times this tug of war whether inner or outer is because we don't like or accept what is actually happening or unfolding in our lives. In truth our flow comes from our Higher Self - from the Universe-Cosmos and our interconnection. Our flow is inextricably interwoven with the woof and warp of The All That Is and all that is encompassed in the Universe. Our flow is interconnected to everyone and everything. Our flow is not only determined by our Path and emphasis, but also those we are connected to and travel with on the Path... Our Soul Tribe or Soul Pod determines the cadence, tempo, flow and meter of the dance of our being related to and relating.
In some ways this not liking what is happening in our lives sets up a Divine Discontent to foster change or give us a "head's up" that change is happening internally and/or imminent. Sometimes the flow in your life and relationships is a bit choppy. Meditation and other forms of alignment/attunement and ways of releasing, expressing and adjusting energetic patterns greatly aid in flow alignment.
We can't always control the flux and flow of our relationships or life; however we can learn to move out of struggle and into the appropriate dance/movement that reflects the right steps and measuring. This is called Temperance on the Path. This tempering adjusts and balancing our expression and experience of the energies within our relating and relationships in ways that are life enhancing. In many ways what we are doing in relationship is expressing and experience energy - energetic patterns; ours and the other persons, or people. We can become attuned to feeling and sensing if more space is needed, more closeness, more verbalizing, more silence; or whatever is being called forth. To some degree all relating is a tempering on a Soul level. It is Soul Expression and Soul Growth.